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I am bitch and all that come before me

 I am committing to finishing bell hooks this week, I want to start Giovani's Room by James Baldwin. So I am reading bell hooks and it according to me that while I have heard and understood what 'self actualized' means I only know it by my context clues  definition  and not the textbook definition.   Self actualized: means realizing and fulfilling your unique potential, creative abilities and your personal desires. (Coined by Kurt G.) Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a conceptualization of needs  that motivate human behavior. I needed to write this definition because I wanted to talk about what I am reading and I did not want to discuss without knowing what I am talking about.    "Young women want to embrace the "hard bitch" image because it keeps them from having to confront the pain that comes when females are pain that comes when females are punished for choosing to be self-actualized and successful."  What we do think, are we embracing...

June 25 + 3. How will you begin?


By waking up and choosing to be better. By waking up and being. How will I begin my career hopefully applying to one of the companies that I put in my notes. I also would like to begin by beginning, by starting a new habit or routine (cooking every week)? I love that I do Cinema Saturday. I can't wait to start a beginning somewhere else and be myself like I always am. I tried to think about quotes about beginnings or how to begin ideas that I saw but I could not find any. I would like each season for me to begin anew. My favorite season is fall. I feel my soul beginning in the Fall. I love Halloween and I love watching the leaves changing. Maybe this season I can go to D.C and visit the museum. I do not know if that is what the prompt wanted. I hope we all can begin and be happy and content.

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Wellll, I think that blogging is working. I feel my ideas becoming more linear when I am thinking. I know it has only been for 3 days but I look forward to writing these, answering prompts and talking about my days. Although I hope no one sees them, but these blogs mean a lot. I wish they could longer, but I do not like to ramble much. I wanted to talk more about who I am I guess....I am 29! I think I said that I was an Aries sun, cancer moon & rising (yes double cancer)! I am a future librarian. I love watching cartoons, I want to buy a bookcase and a mattress and that quilt I linked. I work out, getting into hotworkx (July) and start running next weekend. I am confused about why I do not seek love at the moment because I find romantic love to be beautiful. I guess because I do not know what I imagine love is. I would like to imagine love to be walking along a babbling brook in the middle of a nice Spring day where it is not too cold or too hot. It would be a day where everything goes right and me and the person I love are just speaking about anything that comes to mind. I would love for my partner and I to play Scrabble or have a picnic. I think this love would be peaceful and challenge me in ways that will allow me to grow and not feel bad about myself. I think love if done with good intentions would be the best thing in the world. I think that is why I love Romanticism. They center a lot of their works  in of nature. I love the idea of having a small cottage for vacations to get away from the bustle of urban lifestyle. I would love to live in a William Wordsworth poem. I Wander As A Lonely Cloud is one of my favorite poems. My other fav poems are Mad Girl's Love Song and Song Of the Open Road Sylvia Plath and Walt Whitman (respectively). I subscribed to poetry foundation to get into more modern poetry. This blog is weird, lol I went from talking about love to poems. I suppose that is what a blog is the rambles of a 29 year old young woman, lol. I wanted it to be longer more substantial but I think any time I type I am saying something. I do not typically talk about love verbally, I try to keep things "deep" to myself. I do not think people would care if I spoke about anything. I feel like my ex (which I will try to find a nickname or something) did not like to get too deep so I watered myself down. Now I am trying to find a balance because always being too serious and being too ditzy. I want to figure out how to be soft and hard. I want to be naturally me.


"Why didn't I learn to treat everything like it was the last time? My greatest regret is how much I believed in the future." -Jonathan Foer

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