Brunt out + Isolation & What are some things that make me feel confident?

 One thing that makes me feel confident is wearing an outfit that I feel pretty in. My favorite type of outfits is like a blue jeans & white shirt combo. Anything with pink, anything with black and I do not wear a lot of yellow but I need to start. I also like halter tops and I am getting into wearing cuter two pieces. I also feel confident when I make the right decisions. I think that gives me confidence because I am thinking about how my future self would be proud that I did not make bad decisions or a decision based on lust or temptation. (I do not seek instant gratification). Being in a good mental space (which has not be frequent for me lately). I also think showing up for myself makes me confident so me working out, in graduate school, going to therapy, learning how to be financially literate. Something  I want to gain confidence in is my skin, I would love to have a "no makeup" makeup look or not wear makeup at all and feel confident. I have hormonal acne and I have been working on the inside out (like taking supplements and eating mangos) but I am thinking about taking this acne medication my dermatologist recommend. I do not have too many health issues, but I digress for now. 

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I am a good actor. No one knows that I am burnt out. No one can tell I have been isolating myself because I play the "happy" part well. I am tired. Not like sleepy but tired mentally and I do not know why. I am sad and I have been for quite sometime and I often feel that I am on the verge of tears (like right now). Expressing myself is hard and being comfortable to express myself to others is even harder. However I am learning to sit  and not repress. I wish I could ignore everyone for the day and just be. Be quiet, be loud (if I want), be sad, be angry, just be. Idk where I was going with this blog tonight, I think able to express myself on this blog allows me a chance to clear my head. I do not feel the need to overshare and ramble to my coworkers or friends. I think this is going to be a short blog. I am going to make my next blog about Transcendentalism and what my next literary journey should be. Also brainstorm ways and learn how to become financially literate. I do not know if I told you yet, but I am going to San Diego!! I know I am going to cry when I see Disneyland, ugh so excited. 

This blog will not be long tonight, I want to make sure I read something since I did not yesterday. Also I saw a quote on tumblr that moved me so that would be the end of the blog. Thank you and I will try to be kind to myself. 

"Is it very important to go out alone, to sit under a tree – not with a book, not with a companion, but by yourself – and observe the falling of a leaf, hear the lapping of the water, the fisherman's' song, watch the flight of a bird, and of your own thoughts as they chase each other across the space of your mind. If you are able to be alone and watch these things, then you will discover extraordinary riches which no government can tax, no human agency can corrupt and which can never be destroyed." 

P.S I have been thinking about my dream date and I always imagine a picnic, Scrabble and my love interest having a good laughs.