What do I want to achieve in my current relationships or in future relationships? And continuation of yesterday's blog (books AND pictures)

 What I want in both my platonic and any future romance connections is: connection. I want to make sure I am establishing that we can have both meaningful and deep conversations as well as having fun moments. It is also important for me to be introspective if people do not feel like they can come to me if they are having a bad day or feeling emotional. I want people to know that while I may not be able to always relate to each and every experience that I share in sympathy and in empathy (when I can). I also want for my romance connections to be able to be a little less "me me me" and more about building a life that is centered around "us". I can have tunnel vision often and would like to ensure that I do not have that in my future romance connections. (( I do not know how to ensure that but I will figure it out). For my platonic relationships I would want to establish genuine friendships that comes from being supportive and there when they cannot always show up for themselves. 

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

I got told the other day that I am always contemplating the person was not saying that as a dig just I guess a whimsical observation (at least I am going to take it that way). Also the person who said this was the person I have a crush on still because apparently I like to torture myself. (might just be because of proximity) He has been mean to me. I am going to say mean because the things that he has  said mean things like:

• He ignores me until I say something interesting (which is rude because that is my burden and he knows that because we have spoken about it before). 
• That I need to raise my standards 
• He also implied that I am stupid like multiple times (but then tried to quote Rene Descartes to ME) and I literally said that to him "I am not in the mood to quote R.D)" Plus rationalism is not my thing I am more absurdism anyways.
• He also called me boring haha, but I knew that was rage bait.

Anyways, I do not want to spend too much time on this. I am ready for this crush to be over with and to find someone who likes me for me, who does not call me or imply that I am dumb. I am not dumb, I have better standards, and want to talk to about all the things. (I want to talk about nothing with someone that means something). Okay what else do I have to say. I wanted to talk about the book sale and the book I won. I also want to say I applied to my first like library job (even though it is part time and evening :-) ). I am also reading an interesting article about Nietzsche's influence on Dali (that I am still reading). My next blog is going to be more philosophical because I am going to finish reading living for pleasure: An Epicurean guide to life. The book has bought up some interesting points and is allowing me a chance to think more about who I want to be, is social media that important (I did care about having a lot of tumblr followers) but not I do not care about having followers. I wanted to be tumblr famous as if that meant much back in the day, now I think people get paid or get those badges idk I am a bit out of the loop when it comes to what is new on Tumblr. 

So I went to a book sale that I talked about here, thinking it was going to be have all the books of my dreams (it did not) but I did get:

• This Jazz magazine
• A book of fashion history (won at a silent action)
• A Sex and The City book
• A philosophy book
• Othello
• a book about Josephine Baker
• Macbeth (my favorite play)
• The Tempest 
• A book with Aristotle, Plato and Sophocles
• A collection of books from 1870s-2010s like a historical timeline like it's a set. 
• Ten School of Paintings (so it has like mini books inside of it) (American Painting, French Painting: 19th Century, Early Italian Painting, French Painting: 16th-18th Century, Flemish Painting, Later Italian Painting, Dutch Painting, British, German & Spanish Paintings)

Also I went to a bookstore and got some books from there:

• African American Literature book oldest work from the 1970s
• Incarnate by Ramsey Campbell (which I am reading now super good)
• Dialogue with Nietzsche
• Love, Poetry by Paul Eluad (surrealist artist)

So many books so little time to read them all. However, Incarnate is a horror book and it is so good so far. It makes you want to read more and more every night. I am going to attach my pictures from the last couple of days. Also I think I was supposed to talk about something else but I forgot so if I was I will touch on it Wednesday. :-)

The fashion book I won. 

My daughter ha ha.

DIY my own poison ivy costume, should have gotten it 2x bigger. 

made my own crab rangoon wontons. learned a few things: smaller wrappers and get one of those little brushes to do the egg wash sides so they seal better. 

The next three pictures are from a bathroom at a bar I went to love it:

I thought this was funny, I love it. 

I thought this was cool and something to do more research on. 

I wore stockings!!!!! :-)

Pretty sky :-)

The next pictures are from Disneyworld. Love my Winnie the Pooh ears <3

God bless this churro :-)

Really good ice cream sandwhich.

"Instead of having sex all the time I would like to hold you and not get into some involved discussion of what life means. I want you to tell me something I don't know about you. Something about the day before that photograph in which you're standing on your head." - Eloise Klein Healy

P.S Came back to say that I watch Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving and Christmas special :-)