Crochet + Flowers & What communication patterns do I notice when things get difficult?

I took that picture today. It is a very nice color....hold on I have to wipe my keyboard down. Okay I am back. Just keeping my word about taking pictures of things that move me. 

Okay, so I think this is a good prompt because I so have communication issues, I think I have touched on it once or twice here maybe I don't remember which is ironic b/c I read and re-read this blogging posts to catch typos but I still have some!!!!!! Anyways, I want to talk about what my communication pattern used to, what they are now and how I can improve them. I want to make sure I do not make this blog too long and I am going to clean my kitchen and living room before I go to bed but it is only 9 pm (almost). Anyways, I used to be person who would get angry when things would not go my way,  I would manipulate the situation,  I would be unappreciative of the things people would do for me (which I do not know if that applies to communication but I needed to acknowledge that), yell & cry. When I got older I would still snap and let small things annoy me and be harsh and say things just because and not realize that it did not contribute to the conversation in a positive manner. (the things I am listing are for family, friends and romantic relationships). However, I want to touch on maybe two or three communications patterns that I did do in a relationship. For instance, I would shut down any topic that was uncomfortable to me. I also shied away from speaking out about things that bothered me and become passive aggressive instead and I think those are the biggest two. For my relationship both family and friends, I stopped yelling a looooooong time ago, I do not say things out of spite anymore and I am working on how to be emotionally intelligent  so I do not shy away from tough conversations. (I hope the grammar for this blog is not atrocious but it probably is).  

I want to crochet I swear this is not just one of the hobbies I pick up and put down. I love cartoons and I was watching Adventure Time at my desk at work (yes because I need to watch cartoons to not stress)  and I think this would be soooo freaking cute to have as a winter fall sweater. I love a beat face and a casual outfit.

 Although I think that moisturizer sucks (at least the one I am using now). Anyways, I want to say I am a cartoon watcher just in general not when I am stressed. I attempted to look up crochet classes and they have a one or two but I will look into maybe online videos to see what I would need. I would love to be able to make that one day. I actually need to sit and think about what my next half of the year is going to look like. Like I know I am going running, I know I am going to plan a weekend trip to DC in October, I want to look into making my own Halloween costume and I want to get some furniture. Buy an ottoman, mattress, and bookcase. Also have my license ugh and get my passport before I turn 30!!!!!! 🤯 I also put the topic of this blog would be about flowers. I just wanted to say my favorite flower is a sunflower.  🌻 They just make me happy. I also learned a couple of years ago that they are an Autumn flower. Super duper cute. I want to make sure I circle back to Transcendentalism. I think I might have said this blog might be about Transcendentalism, but I want to read tonight and look up more about it before I give my small English lecture and why it means a lot to me. Also, there is a book fair in October well a book sale in October down the street from my house and I want to make a list of books I am hoping to get so I am going to start the list here and make sure I transfer it to the notes in my phone or a piece a paper. (Also these books are different than the ones listed earlier as books I want to read but I will keep that list in mind when I go to the book sale.) So far: 

• Ariel by Sylvia Plath    
• Notes from Underground by Fyodor Dostoevsky
• A biography about Franz Kanfa
• I read Crime and Punishment but I want the hardcopy

I had written more books down at my desk today but I am totally drawing a blank right now. 

Also when I speak about certain things like Romanticism, or The Beat Generation - I like to connect it to me and why I like it to give myself time to be introspective. Also it allows me to have a liner thought and explain myself more. I think that is it for tonight, I fear I might have rambled or not spoken about anything too important. The quote today comes from Walt Whitman and it is a long one so sorry in advance :-)

"Love the earth, and the sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mother of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body....The poet shall not spend his time in unneeded work. He shall know that the ground is always ready to ploughed  and manured creation. His trust shall master the trust of everything the touches....and shall master all attachment." 

P.S For some reason I wanted to get that tattooed but I would not where to put them. Also, I am getting tattoo next month two quotes: made from love, made to love  and where focus goes energy flows

P.P.S I would love to get my ears re-pierced just my body rejects piercings for some reason.