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I am bitch and all that come before me

 I am committing to finishing bell hooks this week, I want to start Giovani's Room by James Baldwin. So I am reading bell hooks and it according to me that while I have heard and understood what 'self actualized' means I only know it by my context clues  definition  and not the textbook definition.   Self actualized: means realizing and fulfilling your unique potential, creative abilities and your personal desires. (Coined by Kurt G.) Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a conceptualization of needs  that motivate human behavior. I needed to write this definition because I wanted to talk about what I am reading and I did not want to discuss without knowing what I am talking about.    "Young women want to embrace the "hard bitch" image because it keeps them from having to confront the pain that comes when females are pain that comes when females are punished for choosing to be self-actualized and successful."  What we do think, are we embracing...
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 Only blogging because it has been 3 days and I feel bad! I do not have much to say but I just wanted to say hi!! Also, wanted to say when I am talking to people and I am trying to describe why I say certain things I say "I am being polite". I guess what I mean to say is I do not want to come off as crazy, or come off as weird. I over think my intentions with my words because I have been a person who said things with no intention behind them. I also want to say that I do not have a great ball of sadness in me, now I feel like I am like wading trying to find my way to shore. Every day I do not off myself is a great day. So I am going to go now I actually have a lot homework to do and on Thursdays I clean and wash clothes. Sorry about the short blog. Be kind to yourself and each other. 


"Suddenly I wonder, 'Where is the girl that I was last year? Two years ago? What would she think of me?'" - Slyvia Plath


P.S I have this conspiracy theory about alternate universes where there is the opposite of me somewhere. Someone who likes math, has social skills and someone who is not an inch away from walking off a cliff. 

P.P.S I want to work on my social skills more. I guess I can bring that up in therapy next month. 

P.P.P.S (to answer the quote) I think she would be proud that I broke a cycle. That I started therapy, that I graduate grad school in May 2026, that I am doing Hotworkx, that I started running, that I got glasses, that I am here and trying to be better. 





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