What does happiness mean to me? What can I do to cultivate more happiness and contentment in my life? & the list my therapist asked for

 I think this a good prompt because I do not know what happiness looks like to me. I am not sure when the last time I felt like happy for sure I have felt content. If I had to close my eyes and think of happiness I see lush green fields with a breeze and I am wearing a pink sundress and I feel free. I have a kite and some bubbles and I am laughing. I don't know I just find happiness to be a feeling of freedom. I think I can cultivate more happiness by getting out of my head and attempting to enjoy the moment. I want to do more solo things so I am going to see the Acme movie, Conjuring and Hamilton. I am also going to see the Avatar the Last Airbender the little orchestra (?) thing they have at the Mahalia Jackson theater.  Also doing a picnic!!!!! (when it is cooler outside). 

💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

    Okay, the list my therapist wanted was qualities I look for in a dating partner? I am going to start off basic maybe and then get more introspective :-) **** I thought I could find a list I had written like 2 or 3 years ago. But I can't oh well. 

1. Family oriented ( I love my little family so I would be happy if they could fit in with my family and me with theirs)
2. Funny (I know humor is subjective but humor at the expense of others is the maybe only type of humor I do not find enjoyable. I also do not like jokes about physical appearance.)
3. Educated (I am in school to get a Masters so I would want my partner to be educated)
4. Enterprising 
5. Self Aware !!!!!!!
6. Kind (This is a recurring theme for my blog. *** This is a reminder for me to tell the act of kindness I saw today)
7. Organized 
8. Emotionally intelligent 
9. Understanding 
10. Patient (I have stated before that people think I am hard to get to know. I think I am pretty cool once I do not feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop)
11. Has hobbies :-) 
12. Open minded 
13. Has empathy (noo sociopaths!!(( even though it is a running joke that I have the same level of apathy of a sociopath)))
14. We are spiritually compatible (I do not think I have talked about religion on this blog. I am always at the crossroads of knowing what I believe in / believing in something & just being agnostic.  I find that Eastern religions have touched my soul more than Western religions. In particular Taoism or Confucianism) 

*** I found the list lol let's see:

1. Handsome (nice smile)
2. Helpful
3. Respects boundaries (My biggest boundary is no yelling and no cursing at me in any way.)
4. Romantic
5. Knows a good balance of team work and taking the lead
6. Willing to try new things
7. Respects people regardless of sexuality, gender, race/ethnicity
8. We start off as friends and can bloom into something more (romantic wise). I am a slow burner and a yearner. I do not mind slow and steady that makes a good foundation. 
9.  Loving
10. Well read
11. Same political views
12. Pour into each other (idk if this makes sense. I guess I mean encouraging each other to have and accomplish goals. Pushing each other to be great)
13. Good conversationalist 
14. Can be happy for other people when good things happen (not envious)
15. Attentive
16. Believes in me (This one is important to me because when I spoke to my ex about things I wanted to do he would always say "we'll see" even when I told him that when he speaks about the things he wanted to do like streaming I encouraged it and even watched his streaming)
17. Good kisser lol :-)
18. Works out
19. Creates a safe space that allows vulnerability 
20. Good listener (which I guess is what attentiveness is) 

** I want to keep this blog PG-13 so I am going to say something else I want to be compatible with my future partner: 

1. Sexually compatible 
2. Makes me feel attractive (My ex literally used to make fun of how "big" or "tall" I was. He literally told me one time that it "was not his job to make me feel attractive") 
3. Wants to spend quality time together :-) 
4. NOT USING "NICE" things that was done for me against me. 

Okay so I think that is a good list to start off with.

Today I took a different route home because I needed to go to the grocery store and I wanted to go to Whole Foods. Whilst I was waiting to get on the bus people were getting off and this guy comes up and talks to the bus driver trying to help people who did not speak English well enough to understand that they were getting off at the end of the line and that they needed to take the bus back and get to Metairie. I watched as he spoke to the bus driver and she allowed the passengers to get back onto the bus. I thought this was kind because he did not have to do that. Kindness sometimes means going out of your "way" to make sure the people in your community feel seen.

I think that is it for tonight. I probably won't blog for a while. August 11 / 12 maybe I need to read those 3 articles I said. I also wanted to talk more about desire.

"My soul comes from better worlds and I have an incurable homesickness of the stars."  - Nikos Kazantzakis

OMG I came back to say I caught a clam at the beach and I was letting it dry out in the sun. It started to open up being out of the water and I poured water in the shell opening and the tongue moved and then I felt bad and went to throw it back in the ocean.