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I am bitch and all that come before me

 I am committing to finishing bell hooks this week, I want to start Giovani's Room by James Baldwin. So I am reading bell hooks and it according to me that while I have heard and understood what 'self actualized' means I only know it by my context clues  definition  and not the textbook definition.   Self actualized: means realizing and fulfilling your unique potential, creative abilities and your personal desires. (Coined by Kurt G.) Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a conceptualization of needs  that motivate human behavior. I needed to write this definition because I wanted to talk about what I am reading and I did not want to discuss without knowing what I am talking about.    "Young women want to embrace the "hard bitch" image because it keeps them from having to confront the pain that comes when females are pain that comes when females are punished for choosing to be self-actualized and successful."  What we do think, are we embracing...
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What can I do to prepare for a peaceful night’s sleep? & What am I looking forward? & random thoughts

 I am tracking my sleep for this week because I want to see how I sleep and if I need to do a sleep study for sleep apnea. I have to make a better sleep schedule maybe I am going to start waking up early to work out so when I get home I could do another work out or I could start winding down for the night. I also started classes again and I don't want to get only Bs or Cs I want to get As so I am buckling done. Additionally, I can stop watching tv to go to sleep and use the nature sounds lol. Also getting a new mattress next month and better pillows. Look up why a higher thread count matters. Drink chamomile tea and just make sure I read enough at night. 

Speaking of reading I am working on getting my next philosophy book and I am stuck between wanting to read Nietzsche and Camus. I did just read a sample of Myth of Sisyphus and he quoted NIETZSCHE!!!!!!! So I think I should read both. I am into philosophy because I want to find a better way to live or be inspired on how to continue to live properly. I want to not deny myself of corrosive desires but I want to make sure that I am not always going for instantaneous gratification. Additionally this was not what the prompt was supposed to be about bur I did not know what other ways to get peaceful nights sleep. I think this is a good prompt to think about I thought about getting magnesium like my sister suggested. 

I keep getting distracted so terribly so I am going to attempt to finish this blog without distraction or so much distractions. I have been watching Law & Order: Criminal Intent Vincent is hot.  I really want to go to NYC. However I am looking forward to not having to live paycheck to paycheck, I really want to go to Miami sometime in March or Feb next year. Also I am looking forward to graduating and getting the body I want by my 30 birthday. I am tempted to get a personal trainer to help me achieve those goals. Also I wish I was able to stick to one topic at a time but my mind moves so fast that wish is somewhat hard for me. I hope to find a person who can understand my rambles and rants. I found friends who I think understand me. Also I am not into self depreciating especially about one's body especially I am saying that because of an experience I had with a coworker yesterday and had to explain myself to her today to ensure that she knows I was not trying to call her fat (WHICH I WOULD NEVER) I JUST CAUHGT 10:10 for the second time today WOOOOOOOOO!! 🎉🥳🎉🎉🥳  Let's see what that means: about personal growth, aligning with your higher purpose, going with the flow. Seeing 10:10 may indicate love on the horizon, financial abundance, and a transformative journey of self-discovery. 

So yeah I guess this blog is just about how I maneuver through life when trying to become a better person or attempting to cultivate better relationships with people (obvi not like romantic right now). I will attach a picture of this water coloring thing I have been doing and it's so cool!! I used water coloring pencils. 

I have not taken pictures of the sky sorry, I will try tomorrow to make sure I look up and pay attention. 


 For this quote, I found one I used that started August 24 and ended August 30. 


"I'm homesick for arms that don't want to hold me."


P.S I am excited for Halloween. 

P.P.S Thanks for listening sorry this took me a while. I guess I more unfocused than usual. 

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