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I am bitch and all that come before me

 I am committing to finishing bell hooks this week, I want to start Giovani's Room by James Baldwin. So I am reading bell hooks and it according to me that while I have heard and understood what 'self actualized' means I only know it by my context clues  definition  and not the textbook definition.   Self actualized: means realizing and fulfilling your unique potential, creative abilities and your personal desires. (Coined by Kurt G.) Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a conceptualization of needs  that motivate human behavior. I needed to write this definition because I wanted to talk about what I am reading and I did not want to discuss without knowing what I am talking about.    "Young women want to embrace the "hard bitch" image because it keeps them from having to confront the pain that comes when females are pain that comes when females are punished for choosing to be self-actualized and successful."  What we do think, are we embracing...
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What is a simple delight I have been enjoying lately? AND therapy

 Before I start this prompt, this is going to be a short blog. I wanted to make sure I wrote before I worked out. 

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I found simple delights in light. The sun, the lamp, the Christmas tree when it is plugged up. I found simple delights in laughter. In jokes that do not prey on insecurities. I find delights when I see the color of the sky be the perfect shade of blue or when the gradient is just right. I am finding delights when I am just being. When I am not stressed, or overly tired, when I was able to stick to a schedule, complete a task I wanted to do. I think finding gratitude in the small things helps me appreciate when things are not so good (for the lack of a better phrase).


** Also today I had some really good broccoli and cheddar soup. So yum :-) 

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Okay, ( I think I always start my blogs with 'okay' but yeah), anyways I had therapy today and it was good. I cried :-( only because I wonder why my parents did not choose me. My mom didn't choose me when I was younger (and I started thinking about how even know she doesn't and cares about the opinions of others more than her own children) and my dad never chose me to the point where he was disappointed in my existence. I talked about the guy from work and deciding to do better boundaries keeping the conversation very neutral and not lingering too long where I am not wanted and where I do not need to be. 

However I was supposed to get homework but she has not sent it yet maybe she will tomorrow. I am still learning to identify my emotions and just learn that saying "blah blah whatever so have you" does not in fact make them go away. 


I will talk to you later blog I want to go work out before I go to bed. 


"but jesus fuck I swallow poison if it tasted like you"





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